I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met
with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and
said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?' Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!
Complete darkness and the power went off!
"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag."
Belinda headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are
you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy ...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."
Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared.
And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men
extraordinaire, found me, Half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much
calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."
"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as
though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish
grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up
between the clamps....
with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and
said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?' Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!
Complete darkness and the power went off!
"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag."
Belinda headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are
you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy ...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."
Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared.
And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men
extraordinaire, found me, Half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much
calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."
"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as
though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish
grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up
between the clamps....
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12:26 PM
Oh my god! Is that a true story??? If so, that is absolutely horrifying! If not, then its absolutely hilarious! ;)
12:53 PM
jyackley01- oh my no! My mom sent it to my e-mail this morning and I thought it was so funny I just had to share it. And hey, thanks for stopping by!
3:05 PM
Oh. My. God.
I thought I had it bad when I had mine. Cuz I don't have "any". Pain. In my ribs from being jammed against the equipment.
Had the power gone out, though, all I would have had to do was give a little tug, and I'll bet I'd have been free.
Thanks for visiting Where the Walls are Soft, BTW - and I will definitely be back! You're a great writer, and I have a kaleidoscope sitting beside the computer, I kid you not.
There. Destiny.
10:47 AM
I keep seeing this comment luv feature by word press that displays a commentors last post- I love it! I don't think Blogger has such a feature but I sure wish they did! Anyway, I'm going to try to do it myself for those who comment on my blog-just because I think they deserve the recognition.
Jyackley01 is going to get two (just because I thought her post about my contest was absolutely above and beyond)
Tigger Needs A Special Home
Attention Pet-Loving Bloggers-Contest
Les Becker's last post
I'll Never Be Blocked Again
And if you've never been to this blog- make today the last day that you haven't- you won't be sorry!